 Determining
you bridal party is one of the most harrowing decisions you will make
while planning your wedding. You first must determine the number of
attendants then fill these slots with your friends and family. Let us
just say this, "You are going to make a mistake, some feelings between
friends and family will be hurt, but stand by your decision." Your
first decisions are generally the best, go with these instincts.
Here are a few
pointers to help you on your way. Start by eyeing the size of your
ceremony site. Many sites just may not accommodate a large bridal
party. It may be physically impossible to place more than 6 attendants
at smaller venues. You must remember that certain fixtures at the
ceremony site are "fixed", that is they cannot be moved to accommodate
more attendants.
Choose your
attendants very carefully, you must be sure that they will still be
close to you at the time of your wedding. This may rule out some of
your business colleagues, especially if you are considering a career
move. Remember that many friends may be unwilling to travel a great
distance to your ceremony. There will be some pressure to place
members of your family in the bridal party. Make sure that you are
certain of these choices before yielding to the family. Childhood
friends may have become too distant, to choose. Your wedding also
symbolizes your future, so pick some attendants who you will cherish
as time passes.
If you find it
difficult to tell an anxious friend or loved family member on your
decision not to include them, you will find it easier to break this
news to them either in person or by letter. People have become too
used to phone calls, so will respond more positively to your use of
another way to tell them. Try to keep your selections a closely
guarded secret, so you have the opportunity to tell these disappointed
people before they hear through the grapevine. It is always easier to
explain to the other party on your problems in choosing your bridal
party, and telling them the truth about having to decide between
friends, family, cost and size of the bridal party.
The selection of a
bridal party also gives you some more power in concluding other facets
of your wedding. For instance, if your sister-in-law must be included
in the party, and you compromise on a friend, then stand fast on
another decision, such as if you want the wedding in a certain
location and your mother-in-law wants it in another. Remember that
your wedding, as well as your life is full of compromises and pick and
choose yours wisely. Just make sure that you can live with these
decisions, as long as you feel as your wedding is still under control. |
