Determining you
bridal party is one of the most harrowing decisions you will make while
planning your wedding. You first must determine the number of attendants
then fill these slots with your friends and family. Let us just say
this, "You are going to make a mistake, some feelings between friends
and family will be hurt, but stand by your decision." Your first
decisions are generally the best, go with these instincts.
Here are a few pointers
to help you on your way. Start by eyeing the size of your ceremony site.
Many sites just may not accommodate a large bridal party. It may be
physically impossible to place more than 6 attendants at smaller venues. You
must remember that certain fixtures at the ceremony site are "fixed", that
is they cannot be moved to accommodate more attendants.
Choose your attendants
very carefully, you must be sure that they will still be close to you at the
time of your wedding. This may rule out some of your business colleagues,
especially if you are considering a career move. Remember that many friends
may be unwilling to travel a great distance to your ceremony. There will be
some pressure to place members of your family in the bridal party. Make sure
that you are certain of these choices before yielding to the family.
Childhood friends may have become too distant, to choose. Your wedding also
symbolizes your future, so pick some attendants who you will cherish as time
passes.
If you find it
difficult to tell an anxious friend or loved family member on your decision
not to include them, you will find it easier to break this news to them
either in person or by letter. People have become too used to phone calls,
so will respond more positively to your use of another way to tell them. Try
to keep your selections a closely guarded secret, so you have the
opportunity to tell these disappointed people before they hear through the
grapevine. It is always easier to explain to the other party on your
problems in choosing your bridal party, and telling them the truth about
having to decide between friends, family, cost and size of the bridal party.
The selection of a
bridal party also gives you some more power in concluding other facets of
your wedding. For instance, if your sister-in-law must be included in the
party, and you compromise on a friend, then stand fast on another decision,
such as if you want the wedding in a certain location and your mother-in-law
wants it in another. Remember that your wedding, as well as your life is
full of compromises and pick and choose yours wisely. Just make sure that
you can live with these decisions, as long as you feel as your wedding is
still under control.
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